


Maybe This Time...

by ar_tris_t (orphan_account)



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Abuse, Adoption, I'm Sorry, This was such a good idea at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ar_tris_t
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa's home life is hectic-for reasons to be explained-and he tries to keep it on the down low.<br/>A good teacher pays attention to his students, and some in particular care for their well-being.<br/>Nagisa will need to learn to speak up when something is wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

        School was normal.  There were a few attempts at taking Koro-sensei's life, but they were all kind of pitiful.  There was no way any of them were going to work.

        English was boring and Jela-bitch was telling us about her sexual encounters once more. Karma was the only one interested because he was learning ways to express the want for torture in another language.

        "Nagisa? Are you paying attention?" I snapped to.

        "Yes ma'am." She crossed her arms and cocked a hip, one leg out with her head tilted.

        "Oh really now?  Then what exactly did I just teach you?" I drew a blank, and went to my automatic response.

        In English, since that was the target language, I asked, "May I use the restroom?"  Ever since the woman taught us how to say that, she wouldn't let us go unless we asked in English.  Of course, that also means that since Ryoma never payed attention, he ended up jumping out of a window and going on a tree.  It was pretty gross and all the girls squealed, covering their eyes.  She let me go.

        In math, Ryonosuke was called on and Kuro-sensei was so happy when he answered correctly, that he let us out of class early.  I guess that's what everyone wanted, but when I started to go 'Awww' everyone thought I was crazy.

        I mean, I like school.  Even though I'm in the E class, I enjoy being all the way out here, having Sensei teaching us the way of life and the way of assassination.  Karasuma-sensei is awesome too.  When he trusted me to fight off Takaoka-sensei, it felt like I was actually worth something, and I liked it.

        Being in this class may have us looked down on by the rest of the world, but in our class it's almost an honor.  In fact, it is an honor.  We get taught by the very finest, and it improves our grades by a lot.

        I had hoped that my good marks would impress my mom and dad, but I had no such luck.

        All in all, I had to go home early and get a head start on my homework.  We had way too much to be expected to complete it in one night, but nobody was really up to telling that to Koro-sensei. 

        Kaede caught up with me as I walked down from our hill. "Hey Nagisa.  Wanna hang out at the arcade for a little while?" I looked to her, her green hair tinted brown in the glare of the sunset.

        "Uh, I don't know. You know I have issues with science. It's difficult for me to understand." I chucked, giving the poor girl an excuse that I thought seemed reasonable.

        Kaede nodded like she understood. I guess my lie was acceptable.  "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye Nagisa!" She waved as she turned off to her street.  I simply nodded as I continued down the road.  I was dreading home, but if I wasn't there by five...well let's not talk about that.


	2. Chapter 2

        I flinched, the cold water pelting my skin. Pain lets you know you're alive, all right, but relief can do the same thing. Sometimes the pain gets to be too much, until you can't even think straight. Until you can't even breathe, which triggers a new pain, starting the cycle all over again. I looked down at myself, enclosed in the small bathroom that I got to call my own.

        It was a good night. All of the marks could be covered by my usual outfit.

        Sighing, I curled up into a ball, the fetal position protecting me only in this moment. Earlier, it did nothing but expose my back as a target. The water did well to hide my tears, but the warmth sliding my face let me know that they were there. Crying was natural. Human. I'm human, right?

        I mean, I have to be human. What else could I be? Am I really the scum I'm told I am? If I was, would I really be trusted with the world like I am? I was small in this moment. Smaller than a fourteen year old boy should be. As a teenager, I should think I'm the top of the world, but I don't. I'm not that lucky to be able to think like that.

        I opened my eyes. If I was in here longer than ten minutes...

        I shut off the water and rose. I pulled back the shower curtain to see a red faced boy. He looked like me. It took a moment for me to realize that taking a cold shower meant no steam was going to hide my reflection from me. I didn't want to see myself from an outside perspective right now. I wouldn't be able to keep my calm. Not many people would. Of course, I am not 'many people'.

        I bowed my head and grabbed my towel. Looking around, I notice that I hadn't grabbed my night clothes, so I walked down the hall to my room as quietly as possible, searching my brain for knowledge of squeaky floorboards. I made one mistake right outside my door and cringed, waiting for the inevitable onslaught of harsh words. They didn't come and I hurriedly retreated to the momentary safety of my locked door.

        As soon as the door was closed, I let out a sigh of relief as I slid to the floor. They must be asleep. Thank God.

\- - - - - - -

        I yawned, taking my hair out. Stealing a glimpse of my alarm clock, I saw the late hour. This was the only time I ever cursed Koro-Sensei.  Not all of us are aliens who don't ever sleep.  Strike that.  Koro-Sensei does sleep.  Just probably not as much as we'd like for ourselves.  I kicked my chair out from the desk that I had been doing homework at, and two steps forward before plunging myself into my bed.  The toll today had taken left my withered body in a flourish.  There was no way that I was gonna sleep on my back tonight.  Closing my eyes, I wished for the best tomorrow. 

        Fat chance.


	3. Chapter 3

        Today won't be so bad. My mom was going to be working late, which meant that if I was in bed before she got home, I wouldn't have to see her until tomorrow. I hope that's the case, though. Sometimes, she'll wake me up.

        At school, it was particularly warm, and that means that we have to change for gym. In front of everyone. In front of Karma. He was suspicious of my life at home, but I usually played it off. With fresh scars, I couldn't hide. I started to freak out, but I quickly calmed myself with deep breaths while I was walking. If my mom found out I was crying, she'd be twice as harsh as usual. 

        Today, it seemed that Karma was skipping. Awesome. I hoped that he didn't just arrive late.  He was the only one who really payed attention while we were changing.  Today we were playing cops and robbers again, so it was going to be an exhausting day. 

        "Now class, I know you want to win during gym today, and you're all in anticipation, but you have to pay attention during regular studies as well!  I'd like for you all now to turn to page 394 in your science books please."  Kaede started giggling, as did many of the other girls.  Some of the boys too.  "Did I say something?" 

        Yuzuki replied for the majority.  "Oh, it's nothing, professor Snape."  Sensei's color leaked his confusion, but only for a moment before he went back to his lesson on the chemical makeup of the poison that certain frogs secrete.

        The bell tolled, alerting us of the hour.  Now to play a parkour version of tag in the middle of our unused forest.   I pulled my clothes out of my bag and quickly snuck off the the bathroom where I had some semblance of privacy to change.  Karma had wandered into the classroom while we were being lectured on economy.

        I quickly switched from my school clothes to my workout ones before washing my hands since Karma came in as I came out of the stall.  I focused to calm my heartbeat.  I felt his sharp gaze on my ragged back briefly before he went to a stall.  I dried my hands and hurriedly left to drop my uniform off at my desk. 

        I was in a group with Kaede, Isogai, and the accursed Akabane.  Why today, of all days!?  I jumped over a rock and swung over a ditch while hanging on a tree branch.  I hoped we weren't the first prey of Mr. K. 

        We were.

        You could hardly hear them, but he was there, stalking us, him the predator to our prey. He was waiting for an opportunity to catch up on us as soon as we hit semi-flat terrain.  I was at the lead of our little pack, and I didn't know if the other three knew of our looming threat.  I made a sudden turn and that, if they didn't know before, tipped them off.

        I ran as fast as I could, and the rest of our little posse was passing me up. At least, Isogai and Karma were.  Kaede was still lagging, and was the first tagged out.  I was next.  Fear gripped me tight and I knew my secret would slip.  It was because of how hard Karasuma slapped us on the back usually.  I would be found out.  At least, if I cried out.  I was trying.  I wouldn't make a sound.

        Mr. K's chalk covered hand was soon upon me, and did it hurt.  A pained sound left my mouth. 

        "Ahh-!"  I dropped to my knees.  Great.  Now Mr. Karasuma knows.  So does Karma.  Isogai was too far ahead and Kaede had already turned back to the school building. 

        The other two had stopped.  They looked at me.  Mr. K hadn't tagged me that hard, but with injuries, the pain was too much to bear.  I looked up with tears in my eyes. 

        It was Karasuma who had spoken first.  "Nagisa?"  I looked to him.  "Take off your shirt."


	4. Chapter 4

        I hated to cry in front of others. Yet, here I was. I kept my eyes to my lap while Mr. Karasuma was on the phone. I had his jacket around my bare shoulders and we were in the teacher's lounge. I was going to get it so bad when - if I ever got to go home. The way the conversation was going it sounded like Mom was in a lot of trouble. I don't know what was going to happen to me since the only family I had was Mom.  I had nobody other than her.

        "-sa?  Nagisa?"  I blinked out of my thoughts.  Karasuma was trying to talk to me.  I looked up and his face faltered when he saw my tear stained, blotchy face. He cleared his throat and patted my shoulder, almost looking like he wanted to hug me but not wanting to harm me any more than he had already. At least he was being courteous by not touching my back. "You're mother is in a lot of trouble, Nagisa. I'm afraid that you can't go home to her at this time. Is there another place you can stay? A friend's house or something?"

        I nodded, keeping my mouth closed. I didn't want my mom to be in trouble. It was all my fault. If I had just pretended to be sick or something so that I didn't participate in gym, she wouldn't be away. Karma was just outside, having been there as a witness to my, uh, battle scars. He heard what Karasuma had said, and entered the teachers lounge.

        "My mom loves Nagisa. She'll totally let him stay until everything is figured out. It's just me and my parents. My mom hasn't seen him in forever." I looked at him. I didn't know that he cared that much about me? I was honestly shocked at the fact that he'd offer such a thing. Karasuma nodded.

        "Ah, of course. I'll have to talk with Child Protective Services about this, but until everything is worked out, this is a good temporary fix."  Adults always had to go through so much paperwork.  I wasn't looking forward to that in my future.

        That evening, I went home with Karma, and the silence between us was odd.  There was never that awkwardness hanging in the air, waiting to be poked.  I have to say something before he does, but what?  What could I possibly say to make this less weird?  Small talk would do nothing.  We weren't allowed to discuss the assassination attempts when normal people could hear us, so that was also a no go.  I mean, we could alwa-

        "Why didn't you tell me?"  Karma actually looked, sad?  "I mean, I'm supposed to be your best friend, right?  And then I find out this was happening behind my back the entire time I've known you, how could I have not picked up on it?"

        "Karma, it's not your fault.  I didn't want you to find out because I didn't want this confrontation."  He looked me dead in the eyes.

        "No.  That's not the reason why.  I know why, but I'm waiting for you to find out.  I want you to tell me why you hid this from me.  Or at least the octopus."  Karma actually looked hurt.  I had never seen him this way, he usually had that confident smirk in place, also hiding whatever his true feelings were. 

        This Karma was unnatural.  I didn't know how to react, so I kept silent and faced forward as the pair of us continued to his house, a quiet night ahead of us.


	5. Chapter 5

Dedicated to Brian Smith.  Thank you!!  
\---

        Ms. Akabane welcomed me with open arms. She had a smile on her face like I was staying the night as if it were a regular Friday night.

        I heard her crying when Karma told her my situation though. The walls aren't all that thick. And her makeup was smudged at dinner as proof. Karma and I didn't talk to each other much. It was like the silence that followed a bomb.

        Cleanup was not going to be easy.

\- - - - - - -

        The others didn't know what was going on, but it didn't take a genius to know that something was going on behind the scenes, and my class is filled with smart kids. During lunch there was whispering, and like I'd dreaded, I was alone despite being surrounded in people.

        I quietly ate the sandwich Mrs. Akabane made for me, not wanting to feel sorry for myself. When were the other students going to figure out what happened? I know that Karma wouldn't tell, and Mr. Karasuma was a teacher, he definitely wasn't going to come into the classroom spilling secrets.

        I was in a moment of stalemate. There was nothing I wanted to do and nothing to motivate me to do anything. And what did Karma mean when he said I wasn't telling him the reason why I didn't say what was going on? I would know, right?

        Is my brain trying to hide something from itself?

\- - - - - - -

        After school, about a week later, I had made my way back to Karma's house, but he had disappeared halfway through school and I hadn't seen him since, so I was alone. The house was dark when I got there, but the door was open. Ms. Akabane must have been working.

        I entered the house and began immediately doing my homework as usual. I sped through it but still made sure I was doing it all right. I was only allotted a certain time frame before I was to make dinner. I hoped that-

        I didn't have to make dinner. I was allowed to take as much time on my homework as I needed. My mom wasn't with me anymore.

        Karma arrived before his mom, and found me curled in a ball on the kitchen floor, sobbing. I missed my mom, she was one of the only people who loved me.

        "No, Nagisa.  She di-" Karma realized that it might have been too early for me to hear that. I must have been speaking aloud to entice a response at all. He restarted his sentence. "Nagisa, she wasn't the only one who loves you. Everyone in class E loves you."

        I remember hearing his heartbeat.

        "You're not alone, and I'm here to make sure you remember that. Nagisa, I won't leave you, okay?" I had never seen him express so much genuine emotion. He must have been included when he said class E loved me. It was the only explanation as to why he was acting like anything other than an asshole.

        I hugged him back, not holding back anymore. I missed my mother so much, but she never really saw me, I was beginning to understand. It would take a few months, but soon I would be able to admit what Karma was going to tell me - she never loved me.

        My mother wanted a daughter. I always knew this. She'd make me wear dresses and she wouldn't let me cut my hair. When it wasn't perfect, when she still saw that I was a boy, she'd lash out.

        I didn't want Karma to know about how lonely I was, but I was sobbing in his arms all the same. He was shushing me, lest the neighbors hear and think something was going on.

        I'm not sure he heard me, but I had said, "Please don't leave me."


	6. Chapter 6

        I wasn't sure what to make of the relationship between Karma and myself anymore.  It was a muddy mess, mostly because I was craving love that night in the kitchen. 

        I had kissed him. 

        And he hadn't kissed back. 

        I was sure it was just the shock of a middle school boy, so broken on the floor that he couldn't move lest he shatter any more, kissing him, but I shouldn't have expected anything.  It was more chaste than anything, a thank-you between close friends (though if it was anyone else, I know Karma would be the one to state 'no homo'). 

        It had hurt me at the time to see him so shocked, especially since I was delusional from the emotional pain and took his silent freak-out for disgust. 

        I would never be enough, I thought. 

        Karma continued to hold me in his arms though, and when his mother came home to us, she simply suggested that the two of us share a bed that night.  She could sense that I didn't want to be alone, and I was very thankful for that.  I was thankful for Mrs. Akabane for everything that she'd done for me, for the safe-haven that she gave when I had the rare chance to get away and spend the night at her house. 

        Eventually, I had calmed down enough to take a bath while Karma's mom made dinner for us.  He did his homework when he thought I was preoccupied with helping his mom after I was done. 

        He almost looked like he was still trying to hide the fact that he was a good student, when the whole class knew that he studied for the tests.  Koro-Sensei made our practice tests so much harder than the national exams, and I think all of us were thankful for that, despite the complaints when we actually work on the material he assigned us.   He was a great teacher, and I didn't want to see how the school year would end. 

        Every one of us in Class E was dreading the end of the school year, because that would mean that we had either killed one of the few people(?) that had ever respected our class and treated us equal to the other students by pushing us, saying that we could beat Class A, or it meant that the world will have been destroyed. Neither option was appealing, but personally, I think I would rather still have a world to exist in after middle school.

        "So, Nagisa," Mrs. Akabane caught my attention while we worked on cutting vegetables and such. I looked up at her, pausing my actions as to not hurt myself. "How's school going? Karma refuses to tell me anything about his teacher or classmates, other than yourself. How are your grades?" I glanced in Karma's direction.

        "I mean, the way Ms. Jelavic teaches us English is, interesting. It's not how you would expect, but I guess it's effective. And Mr. Karasuma is nice." I looked down at the knife in my hands and thought about the ways he taught us how to kill a person multiple ways with a knife, or even with just our bare hands.

        I also thought about when he found out about my mother. She had said that she loved me, just before she had me retrieve her belt. It was always different, but that's how I could guess her moods. The best days were just playing dress-up. The worst meant I had to sleep on my stomach that night.

        I needed to thank Mr. Karasuma for what he did. My cuts and bruises actually had time to heal, despite how difficult it was to bandage myself. I had gotten plenty of practice over the years, so you'd think I'd be used to it, but it still hurt so much. The only reason I had them on at all was because Mr. Karasuma insisted that I wear a salve to help the healing, and I didn't want that all over my clothing.

        I was pretty sure that Koro-Sensei didn't have a clue about the incident, because it would be just like Mr. Karasuma to do something like that, hiding it from Koro-Sensei.  What he doesn't know won't kill him, and as Karma once pointed out, he knows so much about us, and we're so close to him, that we won't want to kill him.

        That wasn't entirely untrue.

        On Monday, when I saw Mr. Karasuma, I approached him while the other students were talking about their weekends. 

        "Ah, Nagisa.  I actually wanted to speak with you about something."  He was standing outside, watching to make sure that all of the students had gotten to school alright.  It was really sweet that he did that, even if he claimed that he was simply watching to make sure no strangers or other adults came onto our school-grounds.

        "So did I.  Mr. Karasuma, I wanted to thank you.  I didn't realize how much I hurt before, and I still love my mother, that probably won't change, but I think I'm ready to start moving on now."  He nodded. 

        "That's great, Nagisa.  That works out with what I wanted to tell you.  I found a home for you, but only if you're willing to live with them."  I nodded and smiled almost bitterly.  It was great that I'd have a place to stay, but it would still be awkward to live with anyone but my mother, at least for a little bit.

        "Really?  That's great.  Do I know them?"

        "Yes, actually.  We don't have any eligible living relatives to take you in, so we found someone else that was close to you."  I tilted my head.  I didn't know many adults.

        "Really?  Who is it?"  I was decently confused.  Who did I know that would take me in?

        "Me," Mr. Karasuma said.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I originally planned for this to be so much longer, but I can't handle this any more. I'm much to happy to mentally stand writing this anymore, so I apologize greatly for the shitty ending.


End file.
